thesagetanner:

Kittens are my favorite. I almost love kittens as much as I love Chipotle.

And me (;
anacondom:

google is scary accurate nowadays

kanyewestevil:

schools have stairs so you can throw yourselves down them

545,970 notes

crabbyjammies:

capitalistpropaganda:

"what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll be TOO cool?" I say as I strap the rocket blasters to my heelys

53,945 notes

shamitomita:

cyberho:

Dick riding IS NOT a form of transportation!!!!!!!! 

not with that attitude

135,930 notes

  • Me: procrastinating on tumblr
  • My parents: can you please-
  • Me: are you serious do you even know how much homework i have im stressing over so much please don't make me do it i really need to get this homework done im so tired
  • 455,708 notes

somethingpointy:

Vampire doctors that can smell if you have a blood disease.

Werewolf therapy animals for sick kids.

Nature sprite and nymph nurses that always make sure people have pretty flowers to brighten up their white rooms.

Fauns that go around and sing and dance for patients so that they smile.

Nice monster hospitals would be amazing

93,728 notes

wyllie-coyote:

peanutbummer:

exuberantneuropsychologist:

shmeeshed:

clevergenius:

the-diarrhea-of-anne-frank:

yea im a girl

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yea i play video games

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HAHAAHHA JK

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yea im a dude

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of course i play fucking video games

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HAHHHAHAHA JK im really a woman

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yea im a girl

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yea i play video games

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HAHAHAAHA JK IM OLD GREGG

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indeed i am a boy

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indeed i play video games

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HAHAHAHA JK IM A SWORDFISH

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Yeah I’m an trans*guy

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yeah I play video games

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jk I’m actually a dad

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IT GOT BETTER

465,283 notes

Anonymous: Hey fuck face ;)

Omg you are the most amazing person in the world I love you so much marry me♡


0 notes

  • Bae: I just blacked out on a roller coaster.
  • Me: So if you black out from a roller coaster, how do you expect to ride me?
  • Bae: What?
  • Me: What?
  • 26 notes

If I’m your tumblr crush send me a “hey fuck face”

800,029 notes

Anonymous: Guys also?

Yes haha I like both..snapchat me!


0 notes